“Everything and nothing”, I replied, slightly pompously, when people asked me what I was going to blog about.
“But you can’t cover everything!”
“No. Of course not. But if I could, and if everything was possible and nothing was ruled out, I’d be left with everything. And, by the time I’d written about everything, there’d be nothing left to write about, so I’d have covered both options.”
“So where are you going to start, smarty-pants?”
At other times, hoping to bring a little levity to my ‘What have you got to say?’ answers, I’d quip: “Anything and everything.”
“But you’d have to choose,’ came the reply.
“Of course I would. But I could choose anything or everything, or anything and everything.”
“What? You haven’t got the time!”
And that’s true.
Let’s face it. I’m not one of those people, so driven by the need to write, they turn the compilation of a shopping list into a literary exercise, or make each single item look like a work of art produced by a calligrapher.
Such people could write about anything, and would probably try to cover everything. Including their groceries. Which – if you check – you’ll see I’ve done.
“So what’s your blog going to be, then? Pulpit or confessional?”
Now that was a question I had to answer.
Was I going to preach? Was I going to mount the metaphorical steps and stand before my virtual audience, holding forth as if I were robed in the vestments of moral authority? Was I going to rail against the forces of evil and corruption?
Or was I going to get on my knees, bare my soul to the world, and offer up an unadorned litany of my sins and misdemeanours?
Years ago – so many years ago they’re beyond counting – I wrote a little piece of doggerel that goes like this:
I used to be a loudmouthed braggart
full of wind and piss,
blowing off in public on every that and this.
But since I learned that nothing’s true,
it’s all no more than cant,
I’ve simmered down a lot these days
and don’t just rave and rant.
For making all that noise won’t do,
it only fills the air.
It does no more than plastic glue
would do to wash your hair.
And now I ask myself: has anything changed?
Well, some things. I’ve got less hair and we all know much more.
Indeed, the volume of information now available to everyone makes it possible for anyone to have an opinion on something or another. Anything and everything, in fact. Which is – almost – where we came in.
I’d better get started!